Saturday, after spelling out to Larry that our conversation was over from my side, I felt a certain need to clean, to shake off the negativity that, although I'd been very aware of it, and had tried my best to keep it at arm's length, anyway had piled up inside me, and to recharge my batteries with some positive energy.
Part of the process was to analyse what had happened. In writing. But a far more important part was to concentrate on something, that could be a source of positive energy.
Earlier that day, I'd noticed that Jane had posted a new video on her YouTube channel: "Meditation experience and spiritual possession". It's a one-hour long vid, and I didn't feel I had the peace and calm to concentrate for so long a time, before I'd finished analyzing the communication with Larry, also my reaction to him, completely. So it had become late, Saturday evening, before I eventually watched the vid. And even if I actually was quite worn out, watching the vid was the best that could have happened. It made me feel both light and soft and full of joy again.
I've wondered a lot about certain "crazy" things I've done in the past. And although I'd intellectually understood that I'd been forced to do them in order to protect myself just as they were some sort of revenge, although I also had understood, intellectually, that even the threatening of the voices, for instance, not necessarily were "evil spirits", but just as much "guardian angels", they still appeared sort of strange to me. Watching the vid brought me, at least, one step closer to real understanding, accepting and loving. "Crazy" me? No, just me. - Time for a cup of Angel Tea...
Watch the video!
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